A First Step into the Indie Web
After the YouTube algorithm decided that I'd be interested in the indie web and sent me a video to get me started, I decided to take a plunge and make my own website.
I've built and decommissioned a handful of my mainstream social media accounts in an attempt to find a relationship with
social media that makes me want to use it for its intended purpose, and not just be constantly sold to by all sorts of people and corporations.
It's nauseating. There is no social. There is only commerce.
Anyway, before I get ahead of myself and populate the site with ceaseless yapping, I need to dust off my programming know-how and make this place prettier.
I'd been very uninspired to pursue programming in any capacity during my undergrad (and I got even a degree on it), but maybe this time it'll be different.
Anyone can get me to do anything if they tell me it's all in the name of making art, and I see some art about to be made here.
This site has zero advertising, no value proposition, and therefore beyond the reach of SEO. However, if anyone manages to find this site and is reading all of this,
then I'd like to say goodbye for now and thank you! See you next time, maybe. See you when this place feels a little more lived-in.
Dealing with Regrets
Recently I've been asking this question: does the regret sting more if I don't do something than the reget after going through the experience?
For the past six months, I'd been operating by placing most of my decisions under this dichotomy and answering them in earnest. I'd been stuck in a bit of a rut
for a while, and living like this is slowly helping get myself figure out what's important in my life. At some point, I'd forgotten that I can just get up and do it
if I want it. Especially as an adult with a handful of disposable income, this is an era in my life where there are the least amount of forces binding me from doing stuff except
my own mental barriers.
I told myself I'll find all the awesome places to visit and events to see in my city I'd been longing to do it for three years until I did something about it this year.
Now I'm hosting a Meetup in my city with the purpose of doing exactly that, while also meeting new people at the same time, which is another desire I left untouched for so long.
Pursuing these bucket-list activities didn't feel as good as I played them out in my head, mostly because it takes more time and effort than expected. However, I come back to
the question again, and I don't regret taking the effort in making both happen.
The other good part about this question is it helps me let go of stuff as well, either temporary or permanent. I asked myself the same question about handling my art burnout.
For a while I quit making anything and felt regret that I'm not working on stuff like I used to. Though I still feel the burnout, but now I know how much this hobby means
to me. Perhaps the truth is that I want to keep making art despite how mediocre I am, and despite the corporate and AI entities disrespecting the craft.
Perhaps asking this question might spur a career change. Maybe I should just pursure a creative career because frankly it's all in my mind for the past few years. Unless I actively pursue it,
the regret of not doing might eat away at me. I can't wait for a perfect opportunity -- wait for all lights to go green -- to jump into it either because if I wait for tomorrow, that tomorrow will never come.